I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
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Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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