I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
