During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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