So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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