Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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