i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
