The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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