that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
