I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize