did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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