There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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