dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
