Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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