I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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