In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
