Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
