What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize