I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
