You're so nebulous sometimes
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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