Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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