literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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