I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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