Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's not a foreskin expert like you
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
