i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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