Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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