Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
