**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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