love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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