I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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