i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
