He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
