grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize