I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
