hell yes lets make some ravioli
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
