You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
