i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
