Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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