So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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