I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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