Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
