It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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