next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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