yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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