when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Terrible idea I love it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
