be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize