So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
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I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
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They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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