Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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