i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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