i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
