i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
