thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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