Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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