I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize