The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
