when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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