who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
