i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
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Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(