pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
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WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
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God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?