I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dating After Heartbreak
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway