i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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