Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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