Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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