Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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