im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
