last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
