shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
