so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize