I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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