Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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