i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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