This is not my ceiling
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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