butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
